We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
