I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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