Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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