theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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