we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
