I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize