please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
