I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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