he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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