we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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