With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
