Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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