Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
