so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
