he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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