im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
