so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
