This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
