Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
