I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I love you.
Bad choice
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
