I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
