you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Couch. On fire.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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