Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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