i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
