Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
