i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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