I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
