you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
