Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
