does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
false alarm, still single
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
