why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Reggie can tackle my bush.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
