I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
