He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
