why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
