real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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