Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
