We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
