Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
and she was petting her beer can
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
