I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I AM VODKA MAN
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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