I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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