He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
