so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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