Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
