Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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