she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
