...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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