I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
