she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
