k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
They have beer where we have blood.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
