sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
