do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
