I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
