No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
