I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
