i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
