I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
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