i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
