Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
