i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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