I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
