i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
