he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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