this boner is exhausting
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
