She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
you win again, gameday.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
How does it feel to date your dad?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
