Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
