all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
