Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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