I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
