apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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