Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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