omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
