lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
