haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Still dying that you shit outside
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
