just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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